Groundhog Day

Have you seen that movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray where he lives the same day over and over again? Basically, that is what my life has been like. Everyday is the same. I won't lie, i am miserable right now and I don't like being a stay-at-home Mom. There is no mental stimulation for me whatsoever except tv if that counts. I can't read a book or talk on the phone while the baby is awake and when he is asleep which is only 2 hours during the day, an hour in the morning then an hour in the afternoon, i have to get the chores done around the house. Since i'm not working, we don't have any money so it's not like i can really go anywhere and do anything. The weather sucks so i can't even get out of the house to take the baby for a walk. He drives me crazy with his fussiness. I was about at my breaking point a couple of days ago and I yelled at him!!! Then of course i felt incredibly guilty but my gosh! the incessant fussing and crying just grates on my nerves worse than anything i have ever known! And since Chris is at work for about 10 hours a day, he doesn't have to deal with it. he sees him for 5 minutes in the morning and then the baby is usually in bed by the time he gets home from work. yes, he is working and supporting us for which i am very thankful for but sometimes i need a little help at home! I don't even look forward to the weekends anymore. it's jsut another day to listen to a baby cry and fuss. I hardly ever get a break because we have no family around here and most of my friends are in school or have jobs. I feel so guilty for feeling this way because i know there are so many moms out there that want to stay home with their children but can't afford to. Even though i am miserable, i still couldn't send my baby to daycare or anything. I think things will be better when the weather gets better and we can go outside and play. I think the baby gets as bored as me.

Anyway, i've vented now and i guess i feel a tad better...